Sunday, April 12, 2009

:: Fuck-ya's

Where to begin. It's been a while. The longer I wait the longer it takes... So after a brief chat with the Bebop and a quick hop to the wine selling store, I can hold back no longer. This may be disjointed but we'll make it through.

Today is fresh on my mind. I worked. 3 Shower stalls that all turned out beautiful at one house and fixed another mans mistakes in another. Pretty standard. Warm beautiful weather. Today was more or less perfect except everyone else likes it too. This only bothers me because I don't trust they enjoyed the winter enough or realize it's the change they like more than the weather itself. Maybe I'm wrong, please don't correct me. Here we had a great winter. If you are at all active this winter was nice to exercise in with just enough bitter cold to make staying in with some kick-ass pasta and pot worthwhile too. But I digress...
Red bike gets her spring fix up. It really isn't a tune up when the parts I had to remove were rusted and broken, not out of tune.

And who could forget Mrs. Beema. Not I. She was filthy. My underground garage has a never ending "dust" that hangs in the air waiting for you to stop so it can finally rest on your nice clean vehicle and be hard to get off. So I gave her a bath.

She is very co-operative. Maybe because she's german.
I got sick with what I am diagnosing as a flu right before easter. I took a day off work and besides washing Beema and putting another 500 under her belt I have been very lazy.
Leading up to this I having been working my ass off.
Installing glass railings.Cool glass water features in houses.
And more and more glass railings...
Well, steel rail. Glass barriers.This is the second level. There is a duplicate (almost) the next floor up and a a bit different lower level.... I'll show you!Boom.
A new breakfast treat for me on the weekends. Bacon, cheese, asparagus omelette. Served with maple syrup and fuck-ya's.Me uploading the bulk of these photos. Sometimes it takes a while. I may also be drinking, smoking and playing poker.... I'm up right now!
Ummmm.... city?

More food. My famous (not famous) pasta sauce in it's early stages. Note the half onion chopped beside the minced garlic. Yes. I now am begining to cook with small white onions. I still use a lot of green onions when lightly or not cooking them because raw onion still makes me want to puke but as a flavour onion it is making its way into acceptable dishes.This ended up in a wonderful rice dish. The bacon helps. Sorry pigs. If I were as deliciosus as you I'd eat more of you to fatten myself up for the best last meal I ever ate.
AHAHAHAAAAAAAAA NUCLUAR WIN?TER!!!J!FWEFKN!!!!!!!!!1

Whew, made it to the bar.
AAASHAHASAAAAA!!!!!! BAR SPINS!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whew, fresh air. That's better.


Rant :: You can say what you want and that everything should be happy and good and we can have an argument about it... because you have a point. However I don't think you can make me believe that most people deserve to live. More than once I've been told if everyone had to follow the rules I create I would fall under my own "Not good enough" category. Judging me now it's true. But if I had to do more to live, I'm sure I would. I hope I would. Having this issue must be what it means to live with ones self. hmmmm... wait, but I can live with myself. Well enough anyway. It's everyone else I can't live with. Being the way I am I use logic* to pick apart and dissect every single moment with other people and the ensuing interactions and ideas. Both theirs and mine. A lot. Good and bad. Hopefully the gathered and processed information starts to produce results. Certainties, oddities, recurring stuff, how it felt and how I think it would have felt for others. A set of logical rules and paths emerges. Lessons, guides, and laws for life. No one would get perfect on any given day but a fail should be a fail. All alone we can do what we want but we are not alone. No matter how hard I try. It's so hard to follow my rules. Why doesn't everyone*** else have to? If they do then maybe I will too.

*alan's personal not-necessarily-logical, logic
**feelings may not make sense, they just feel
***most people, not you of course


But anyway. I also think love does _and_ doesn't exsist because it is what you make it... wouldn't make sense if worked otherwise.

Oh deer. (Lame caption) Saw a ton of deer this day finishing up a job a bit out of town. - sidenote: don't mind the smudges. These last few pics weren't cleaned up or resized... the big size is dumb. And yes those are my finger prints in the sky. Work truck.Work Alan.Work Alan w/cold armor. Ladder helped with the shots.At a jobsite I made Luis do the drilling. Wicked earplugs, I know. You didn't even have to comment.

Oh and my hair is perfect length right now. It is exactly the colour, texture, and beauty of a golden retriever.



Okay. Two (or three?) glasses of wine down. Am I done? Can I eat now? Is this post complete? How do I finish? Oh sheeeeit. Grade 1 through 13 english, this ones for you...

In conclusion****, things are good, things are bad. This was proven through Alan's struggle to deal with other people's opinions and life choices. He cannot handle the recklessness and complete abandon of logic people tend to live their lives by. He does, however, manage. Day to day he struggles and stagers, down the snakes and up the ladders to see life in new light, daily. Ultimatly when he looks beyond a day into the future he has lost. All is lost. The only way to live and become old is to know that no matter how bad shit gets, everyday ends. Just make a to-do list or something. Everyday ends.


Ev'ryday does end
It doesn't really matter
If that's good or bad


****how I started every single last paragraph of every essay I ever wrote.

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